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Dependent, Reliant

by You Will Always

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1.
My life began at 28, the years before were a little lame. Alright, I promise to be more poetic. It’s been a year since I got clean. I haven’t wanted to die since I left that scene. Have you ever lost every single thing? In the blink of an eye? It’s been awhile since I called this home. And if I fall, I’ll make sure you know it. Then when I choke, I’ll make sure you hear it. Let it rain for days, they’ll still hear us laughing. Fuck all night without passion. I awake and you vanish, Because you know I deserve it. I couldn’t make a friend my wife. I couldn’t fuck from the other side. Have you been caught nodding off? Does my admission make you cringe? I swear this could get a lot more grim. I want you close, but stay the fuck away. And if I fall, I’ll make sure you know it. Then when I choke, I’ll make sure you hear it. Let it rain for days, they’ll still hear us laughing. Fuck all night without passion. I awake and you vanish, Because you know I deserve it. I can’t even... I just can’t even with you… And if you take my hand, I’ll prove that I’m worth it. Even though I deserve it.
2.
Can’t stand how you look at me. I’m lost in the haze. Please don’t lose me again, yet I’m breaking away. I wish I was enough. Why can’t I be enough? I wish that I was better at fucking you. I wish you loved the way I look. I notice when you leave you still smile at me, but the joke is that it’s not enough. I could be enough, yet I’m breaking away. You’re tortured by me and it’s so fucking sad to see. Because 30 days of sun is what’s left for me. Yet I’m breaking away.
3.
BKNM928 03:29
All that I smell is her. It’s starting to piss me off. I’m going to keep disappointing so I can die with something to live for. And it’s not about her or the drugs or the head this all came from. It’s about it all. Please don’t make me choose. I got something to say as we fade away, I still see you everywhere. I got something to prove, how about you? It’s true; I’m better without you. Aluminum foil in my pocket and purple bile in my sink. I hate that it’s filling me up yet again and again and again and again and again. You better fuck me good. You better get me off. You gotta keep me here. It’s all on you. I got something to say as we fade away, I still see you everywhere. I got something to prove, how about you? It’s true; I’m better without you. It fills me up yet again and again… I got something to say as we fade away, I still see you everywhere. I got something to prove, how about you? It’s true; I’m better without you. I hope you’re ok with these words I say. I just love disappointing you. I got nothing to prove. I don’t care about you. Not true. Cause I’m fucked up without you. Alright, I know I come across like a whiny fuck, I’m not afraid to be alone I’d just rather die.
4.
Our Place 04:59
All my friends are locking doors to keep me in, They’re never opening them up to let you in, And though I’m constantly reminded of our place, I keep pushing those thoughts out the door again. All attention that you gave is slipping quick, Not a word I could say would mean a shit. No one cares about a boy with no care at all, But no one fucks a lonely guy who don’t fuck enough. You keep patient cause you know that this isn’t hard, And you’ll stay ignorant cause that’s what you fucking are. And though I’m constantly reminded of our place, I keep pushing those thoughts out the…
5.
High Enough 04:24
High enough to leave this earth, but not enough to forget my place. Their eyes will fill the void below, and drown me in disgrace. And when I fail to walk amongst the stars and feel their lights attack, Then I’ll press this love against my wrist and your god can have me back.
6.
In Fantasy 03:22
I saw you come and go again. It fucking tore me apart. I know you feel the heat again. I’ll let it burn you alive. Running away, running away, running from you. I’m not coming home again. I got something to say, something to say, how about you? I’d like to go away, So I can hear you say, I felt you in my dreams again. Because in fantasy, There’s only you and me. We’re so fucking close, And then we fail again. I hope you know you didn’t even hear me choke. I’m drowning in my head again. It’s something to cherish every now and then. Running away, running away, running from you. I’m not coming home again. I got something to say, something to say, how about you? I’d like to go away, So I can hear you say, I felt you in my dreams again. Because in fantasy, There’s only you and me. We’re so fucking close, And then we fail again. We’re so fucking close, And then we fail again. I hope that you know, I’m trying to come home again. We’re so fucking close, And then we fail again. I hope that you know, That I have failed again.
7.
I walked through hell just to get to you. You told me I’m a broken boy; it’s all I can think about. Could I be something more than what you think? Don’t let me feel the pressure. And don’t let me close my eyes. I won’t play the villain so you can get to sleep at night. But maybe you’re right. Just say it now before I lose all direction. You are looking great and I feel just fine. Just say what you want to and need to, I don’t really mind. Maybe we’re alone, maybe not this time. I hope that you are fine. Let’s watch time fade away. Let’s bring it back to the fucking point. You know this is not enough. Yet we continue to talk and talk about it. Running from you, running from you, Running from you, running from you. Don’t tell me you don’t understand. Running from you, running from you, Running from you, running from you. You left me here to die. Oh my, I think that it’s time. Just say it now before I lose all direction. You are looking great and I feel just fine. Just say what you want to and need to, I don’t really mind. Maybe we’re alone, maybe not this time. I hope that you are fine. I need to learn to be better off, and better for it. I need to see myself outside of what you think. I want to love like I know I can. I want to be all that I am. Time and time again, we lose ourselves to the noise. Time and time again, we make the same mistakes. Just say it now before I lose all direction. You are looking great and I feel just fine. Just say what you want to and need to, I don’t really mind. Maybe we’re alone, maybe not this time. I think we’re alone, and I think it’s time. Maybe we’re in love, maybe you are mine.
8.
More than anything, More than anything, More than anything I could ask for. I want to know, I need to know, I have to know, More than anything I could ask for. I want to know, I need to know, I have to know what I lack. Why I’m not whole. Make me whole. Just fucking make me whole.
9.
It's OK 03:10
So my boys had my back while I made a mess and the high wasn’t worth all the fucking debt. But it’s not the same without it. It’s a shame that we had to be right again, and no matter what words either one of us says, I’m coming home to you, I’m always coming home for you. It’s too bad I’m a catch and you know it. And it’s strange that you know that I notice, but I kinda love how you will never forget me. I’m done with dramatics, this is our last song but against all odds, I’m coming home to you, I’m always coming home for you. I’m coming home to you, I’ll always come back home for you. It’s ok. I feel fine. It’s ok. I feel fine. I think it’s going away. It’s ok. I feel fine. It’s ok. I feel fine. I think I’m fading away.

about

Alex Re – vocals, guitar, piano, programming
Eric Bazinet – bass guitar, backing vocals
Matt Soliveri – drums, percussion
Steve Travale – guitar, programming

Dependent
1.) Brutally Honest
2.) 30 Days of Sun
3.) BKNM928
4.) Our Place
5.) High Enough
Reliant
6.) In Fantasy
7.) Time and Time Again
8.) You Will Never Beat It
9.) It’s OK

credits

released November 5, 2020

All music and lyrics written by Alex Re; except “Time and Time Again”, music written by Matt Soliveri & Alex Re.

Alex Re & You Will Always – production
Vince Soliveri – additional production, engineering, mixing, mastering

Brendan Murphy – backing vocals on “In Fantasy”
Dominic Cercone – backing vocals on “BKNM928”
Nick Feudo – programming and sound design on “You Will Never Beat It”
Nikki Dryburgh – additional piano, percussion on “Our Place”
Jonathan Kresina – percussion on “Our Place”

Additional vocals on “High Enough” – Andrew Benoit, Ben Leathem, Blake Hardman, Brendan Murphy, Daniel Re, Debra Cate, Dominic Cercone, Enya Best, Eric Bazinet, Giulia Biundo, Jesse Doreen, John Walsh, Jonathan Kresina, Josh Hanusiak, Kyle Brownlee, Lucas Re, Matt Soliveri, Nick Feudo, Randy Leboeuf, Rich Folts, Ryan Juntilla, Steve Travale, Tyler Williams

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You Will Always Hamilton, Ontario

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